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anonandoff
4 days ago
Straight Male, 53
0 km · Mosman
Forum
Forum Virgin
Wow,
Just read the news, and I'm shocked. I've chatted with Dodgey just recently, and I thought that he had a good wit and a great sense of humour. I'm sad that I won't have the pleasure of chatting with him again.
Rest in Peace Dodge,
It's clear that you'll be sorely missed around here.
Forum Virgin
[quote:12e57607f4="Pleasure_time"]How do you broach the subject with your kids? OR if your kids are still young how do you hope to broach the subject?[/quote:12e57607f4]
I asked Mum and Dad about where babies came from at age 4, they matter-of-factly told me, then I laughed at how ludicrous it seemed. They got over their embarrassment, and thus I knew more about sex and relationships than most kids at school. I grew up to be very well adjusted, I had complete trust from my parents, and I actually kept my virginity well into my twenties. Now that was horribly frustrating for me, as you could imagine, but it was simply that my career choice kept me away from sexy times. (No, I didn't train for priesthood!)
My point is, that would be the ideal outcome for any parent: to raise a child that could grow into an adult without fucking up his or her life. The next ideal outcome for any parent is to raise a child who grows very rich and provides for his or her parents' early retirement in the Cayman Islands. Sorry Mum and Dad.
My feeling is that if something is withheld from a person, for reasons that aren't explained other than that it's for "their own good" then it's likely to develop curiosity about the subject and possibly resentment toward the parent, because it's obvious that the teenager isn't trusted with adult information; implying that the teenager isn't fully respected in the adult's eyes. Kids ain't dumb, so they'll spot you a mile off. Total communication is the only way.
The initial conversation will likely be awkward, just like it would be with any new adult with this topic, but you both have to agree at the outset, to push through the discussion and see it to the end. You would likely have to wear the brunt of any ego blows, to ensure that he makes it through unscathed by anything that would normally see a kid running off to his/her room, or the adult saying things like "I just can't talk to you." So I guess it's like an intervention.
I do this when I argue with my wife. We cool off for a bit, then one of us will approach the other and initiate the conversation. We always succeed in reconciling the argument, because neither of us will walk away until understanding is reached on both sides. This doesn't mean that we force our will upon each other, it's more that we listen to what the other spouse has to say, then we always make sure that we have HEARD what was being said.
Someone will inevitably have to apologise, but that part is not enforced. I've often had to bite my tongue, accept that I've fucked up, and make amends to the degree that the issue is resolved. I feel that it is the same with parenting. If your young son has been given the faculties to have a proper, mature discussion, then you will likely come out with a successful meeting. If he is lacking in the communication department, and is prone to slamming doors and leaving when the moment gets ruffled, then his ability to discuss the birds and the bees could be challenging, and you may need more tact in your approach. These techniques have never failed me, and I have been able to negotiate many discussions with them, but ultimately it depends on your other person's ability to listen, and especially your ability to do so.
My two cents. Given inflation, it should be ten cents, so I suppose that it's worth nothing these days.
Forum Virgin
[quote:cd9e420861="anders3397"]We came across a new ebook that we enjoyed and thought was spot on. Highly recommend it f you can't seem to get your wife interested. It' Good luck[/quote:cd9e420861]
I saw it too. It looked like a scam. Did you buy it? I was too suspicious of the whole thing.
Forum Virgin
There is no tried and tested method
swinging is just NOT for some people
but a popular way to bring it up are talking about fantasies
honesty i found is always the best policy as well
Me and my wife took YEARS of tentative pillow talk and such to finally even broach the subject.
Just remember if you push to hard there is potential to damage your relationship
Yeah, that's how we're doing it as well. It could take a while, but I think we'll get there at some point. Thanks JnA!
swinging is just NOT for some people
but a popular way to bring it up are talking about fantasies
honesty i found is always the best policy as well
Me and my wife took YEARS of tentative pillow talk and such to finally even broach the subject.
Just remember if you push to hard there is potential to damage your relationship
Yeah, that's how we're doing it as well. It could take a while, but I think we'll get there at some point. Thanks JnA!
Forum Virgin
I'm brand, spanking new here, and I've scrolled through the topics but I didn't find this one (I know, I know, it's probably there somewhere) so I'm asking it now. My wife is not into this yet, so I'm wondering who could help me with advice on how they were successful in seducing his or her other half into having fun with other people at the same time.
By the way, my wife is a stunner, and bi-curious, so that hopefully provides some motivation to you to help me.
Your corroboration is much appreciated!
Thanks fellow swingers, I hope to brachiate with you all as soon as possible.
Forum Virgin
That would be me, I guess. I work from home, so I'm free when I'm not seeing my wife for lunch...
