Written by Diogenes in the tub


Since embracing the lifestyle, there have been so many new and exciting sensations and experiences to enjoy but by far the hottest of them all is being drawn along by people who ultimately fall flat and let you down. Nothing like that feeling of responding to strong interest only to then experience drawn out communication from the other party over a period of weeks or months. For your paramour to constantly set and miss dates to meet you but also to repeatedly attempt to draw you into some sexy chat via a messaging app!

I was thrilled to get an enthusiastic and considered response from Lauren (names changed to protect the guilty) here on KS saying our wants/needs were very similar and that we should meet. I responded in kind and forgot about it. Experience and real-life commitments has taught me to temper any interest and follow-up as the time invested is precious and can often lead nowhere. Genuinely interested people tend to have no issue meeting early so that any potential can be confirmed early and trust and authenticity established.

Lauren was in her twenties with a mostly bare profile, so while the opportunity was attractive and flattering to a middle-aged (though youthful and well-preserved) gent like myself I treated the exchange with a healthy dose of skepticism. Having forgotten about the exchange I was surprised when she contacted me out of the blue via a messaging app some weeks later. We had a brief exchange - sharing sufficient details to lend the air that she was legit and not in fact a painfully lonely person soliciting an online exchange with someone for dubious purposes (dick pics, kicks, mind-games, juvenile distraction).

Lauren proffered links to online content (social media accounts and such) which were not pursued mostly because experience taught me that these would get me no further towards really knowing her and for which the authenticity could not be assured in any case.

Our exchanges continued in fits and starts. They seemed reasonably grown up, occasionally saucy but brief exchanges and not the clumsy baiting work of a cat-fisher. My attempts to move us toward the simple drink we'd agreed to at the outset were met with scheduling clashes. More troubling, she denied being the person that her information suggested, via a simple Google search, she was. This was either a zealous effort to maintain some degree of anonymity after the horse had bolted, an unsuccessful attempt at being coquettish, or a quite sophisticated attempt to assume someone else's legitimate public profile to lend authenticity to a rather grandiose lie.

At something like six weeks after the initial contact, a messaging session set a date a few days further out for us to meet and (zounds!) almost culminated in an impulsive decision to meet that very day... But at the pivotal moment, she was distracted and returned to the app after a time I'd set to make alternative plans (which I did). No sense in ruining a Friday night because of childish games.

As a quick aside, I highly recommend doing this in your exchanges. Anyone reasonable would have no problem confirming an arrangement within a reasonable time so as to not inconvenience the other person. It's important to set time-bound limits and to stick to them in order to flush out procrastinators or cat fishers. Folks such as these may just enjoy the attention or over-estimate their currency in keeping you interested (for example, by assuming that no older single male would pass up a chance to play with a horny twenty-something no matter how flaky). Sure, there is always the chance that they are genuinely busy/flaky/unsure about meeting but unless they can communicate this credibly, assume the worst.

So no further communication was received after that late response. I sent brief messages to confirm whether the original meeting date suggested by "her" was still on but... radio silence. I sent a final message (also with a deadline) clarifying that contact would not be pursued beyond this point if I did not hear from her. None was, indicating that Lauren had either seen the game was up and there was no more juice to squeeze, or that she bristled at being dealt with in such a pragmatic way and could see no value in pursuing a "thing" with someone who wasn't up for endless folly.

The moral of the story? Communication and follow-through are key attributes to successful encounters on sites such as this. If your unicorn cannot provide either, or downplays their importance you should approach with extreme prejudice!

Sexy stuff huh - bet that got you all hot/hard and wet as the Gobi Desert in December!

Tags: adventure, meeting, surprise