(1) First journal entry for a younger lover...
Hamilton, Waikato 2019
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Snippets from my first ever D/s session with Clayton2019
...I'm on all fours, dressed in sexy lingerie, staring at the wall. Right before he comes in, my heart is racing so fast and I'm breathing in short shallow puffs. Somewhere in my mind I think I'm going to pass out and he hasn't even touched me yet! His first touch was a gentle touch to my lower back, meant to soothe/reassure me. We had talked about it and I was expecting it, but in my hyper aware state I still flinched... It took so much courage to let myself be this vulnerable...
Fast forward ...He is now gliding the wooden spoon up and down my thighs, slowly, softly. I hold my breath and gasp at first impact. I wasn't prepared for the sting! We've talked about a number. How will I take 9 more? What was the safe word again? My mind is absolutely racing when the second impact happens. Another gasp as my mind still a little. Ouch! I thought he would go from one cheek to the other... Naive! He's switching it up and I don't know where to expect the impact ..my mind is completely still as I focus solely on the spoon hitting my ass.. I was really surprised at how at peace I felt. I thought I would be freaked. But he's taking his time. The pain is more pleasure and not abuse. He's making sure it's not too much. Not just by my safewords but hownmy body is reacting. I feel safe. And in this moment, I can let go of everything else and just enjoy what in feeling..
Fast forward again He's tying up my wrists, my ass is in the air, face forward and bound wrists between my knees so he can see them when he stands behind me... We talked about this at length.... I want to try this but I still have a moment of what the fuck am I doing... But he's working me expertly...I've never been so aroused. His fingers and tongue, I'm going to explode. But I remember I'm supposed to ask. So I ask... He says No. Do not cum yet. This part! God, this was hard. Don't cum? My arousal is all down my legs and you're working me to the brink...don't cum. Jesus. But it turns out that I'm a good girl. I waited for permission. And when I was allowed to cum, it was mind-blowing. I can't describe it well but I was so aware of everything! The sheets on my skin, the tie on my wrists, his skin on my skin... Absolute euphoria...