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Man seeks (real) woman for long term placement in life’s adventures.

Essential Criteria:

Outgoing personality with excellent sense of humour.

Excellent communications skills.

Ability to repeat important messages at least three times and confirm my understanding.

Ability NOT to repeat my failings and shortcomings on a regular basis.

Short notice availability to pack a small bag, grab a passport and go ‘somewhere’.

Aptitude for walking distances without moaning and giving up.

Cheery disposition, even in the face of my abstract stupidity.

Experience in laughing, crying and unburdening oneself in a close embrace.

Full UK driving licence and own vehicle (3 wheeler yellow van owners need not apply)..

Willingness to work long and unsociable hours at developing a
sustainable relationship, even when times are tough (They won’t be that
tough).

Desirable Criteria but not essential:

Ability to navigate from point ‘A’ to point ‘B’ giving at least a nano-second notice of any deviation to the route.

Ability to differentiate between left and right hands.

Ability to smile and brush off mishaps without apportioning blame.

Capability to commit wholeheartedly in something truly meaningful.

Candidates carrying a disproportionate quantity of ‘luggage’ will not be
considered. Those with a little bag for the overhead locker may proceed
to interview.

CV’s accepted but must be written in English using whole sentences and must include humour, punctuation and correct spelling.

Interviews will be conducted as soon as possible either over
refreshments (gin) or holding a coffee whilst walking somewhere in
England’s green and pleasant land. Yes, that's where I live.

The successful candidate will be required to exchange telephone numbers and start immediately without any faffing about.

Any questions - please message the job holder .