About Me

I am European and a decent guy. I'm clean. I'm safe, and I'm well endowed for those who care. I'm sapiosexual and legitimately heteroflexible (can have genuine fun with guys but I don't actively seek them out). I'm educated and a nerd. I have a lot of zest for life and I can't squeeze enough juice out of it. Related, my biggest vice is getting enough sleep and letting go from wanting to do things.

I'm a person with big dreams. One of them is a simple one, but it is a powerful and subtle undercurrent in my life, that is, to live an ordinary life and have a home (this arises from a tough childhood and anything but a normal upbringing). Having endured a tough and complex childhood, I'm now a well-functioning person, highly educated and I have a professional career.

Attention Couples!

While I maintain a single lifestyle, I can come as a couple as I’m also in an open relationship with a sexy and lovely girl who is in the scene too. My lover and I both take a lot of pleasure in exploring shared sexual spaces together and venturing together through moresomes (with women and men) as well as connecting and playing with other couples. So please enquire within! 🤭 Rest assured, we respect your couple-space and won't be trying to isolate, pull away or date one of you. This is an enhancement to our relationship, and we want to be that for you too. ❤️

What I am Looking For

I seek connection, play, sexual pleasure, appreciation and expression, and to seek out what turns me on most: transgression (within safe, consensual and 'mana enhancing' parameters). 😈 I’m adventurous and looking for sex-positive friends with benefits, lovers, playmates, companions in crime that appreciate the love language of exploration, shared adventuring and playfulness (as discussed in the book 'Open Deeply').

I'm into connection, available for intimacy (though not seeking drama and respect other peoples spaces), happy with casual NSA experiences, and I'm an exceptional conversationalist. I love to sexualise sex and make it hot, dirty and messy. I've got a rich fantasy life, a lewd mind and I like dirty talk, roleplay and making up hot stories and scenes. 😋

Last but not least, I like open sexual spaces: threesomes (🍷🍷🍷), watching and being watched (see "Attention Couples" above). Seeing or dating couples (🍷🍷+🍷) has belonged to the highlight of my sexual journeys in life. I'm definitely voyeuristic and I love watching a girl that I care about and admire with others, especially when seeing couples together (🍷🍷+🍷🍷). I respect the people I play with and apply Dan Savage's "Campsite Rule" (especially in kink) to leave those in my care in a better place than before they met me.

What I Offer

With play partners I always look for (and I offer) the four things:
1. Good judgment
2. Being in working order (as a person)
3. GGG (good, giving, game)
4. Emotionally maturity and EQ

Relationship Status and Disposition

I am single but dating and in an emerging open relationship with a woman in the lifestyle. So I still see others separately (one on one) as I easily maintain several relationships of different kinds at any point in time. Should I return to a long-term relationship, I would remain nonmonogamous. Please don't ask for more if you don't want that in your life and/or don't have the psychological resilience for that kind of life. I am always sex and slut positive. 😜 At the moment I'm holding space for exploring love and intimacy in new ways, given the lessons I have learned, so I am enjoying the journey and living life in the meanwhile.

I was previously in a long term poly triad, so I am poly-capable though I generally lean more to generic 'open' relationships. I operate on the full spectrum from casual NSA to lovers and long-term romantic relationships.

I have explored the kink scene so have a broad spectrum of interests and experiences in this space. I've been mainly a (service) top with playpartners and a dom in relationships with deeper power dynamics - for those who care about kink. I am capable of switching, but not available in that capacity.

Some History and Lessons Learned
I've been in three major relationships in the last 15 years, and they were characterised by me negotiating nonmonogamy with monogamous women - I've learnt it just doesn't work. 💔 I've learned my lesson not to attempt this (see more on this in "Compatibility and Boundaries" below)

I’m happy to talk about my previous relationship experiences and lessons learned, but fear not, I’m not running around falling in love with everyone or creating drama. What I am doing is owning my own sexual nature and needs, and one of them is sexual freedom and agency - having an intentional space to behave.

Compatibility and Boundaries

Compatibility is important. I establish compatibility first before offering commitments or escalating. My commitments need to be met with corresponding capabilities by those seek those commitments. If you want me to disclose my relational life and activities, then you need to bring the meaning structures, psychological capabilities and nervous system robustness to handle nonmonogamy and the reality of living with such knowledge.

If you have significant, unaddressed, anxious attachment issues, I am the wrong person for you. I am deeply compassionate and willing to come a step towards you with reassurance, but I don't tolerate toxic behaviour, moralisations, judgmentalism, perpetrator/victim games, and/or disowned punitive, internalised shame.

Vocation and Profession

I am highly professional, classy and well-presented. I have 11 years of academia behind me, including science, which grounds me.

My dispositions attract me to finish training as a psychotherapist one day (I’d love to be a sex therapist along the lines of the ‘sexual crucible approach to human differentiation’ - see the book ‘Passionate Marriage’). At the moment, I work at a think thank as a policy entrepreneur - shaping public debate on policy while also exploring the dark arts of influencing. 😎