Window shopping in a swingers Mall is no fun buddy!
So I thought I might help a little as a fellow single guy!!
Remember you are here as a guest to married couples, life partners and single ladies all looking for a safe mature and adult distraction or addition to their already healthy and happy sex life. The ladies here are NOT unhappy with hubbies performance and looking to trade him in.
You my friend are a guest and should remember this fact at all times. The ladies here are NOT pay as you cum girls looking for tricks (lol unless that is her fantasy) they are wives, mothers, lovers and ladies.
So good manners, hygiene and common decency used around a Xmas table initially are the best form of approach. You as single guy will be sampled in due course by a lady with a particular pallet for your charms if you maintain the status quo and don't seek to force or coerce matters.
The husbands and boyfriends here are NOT on the for sale or swop out program. They are open minded men that have chosen to share and be shared and YOU as single guy are to respect the fact that their wives and girlfriends are some of the luckiest women alive to be in relationships with men of their stature.
Behave, be nice and when asked misbehave to the best of your ability and ALWAYS respect the NO is NO rule at all times.
Ladies rule swinging never forget that fact.
As the male half of a couple, nothing is more off putting than a single guy who just wants to fuck your wife.
We are here as a couple and wish to experiance things as a couple. Even if it is only friendly chat.
The assumptions and politeness of some males leaves a lot to be desired.
Many do not understand that just because swingers have sex with others, this does not mean they want to have sex with you.
Swinging is not a free brothel.
There seems to be train of thought that couples swing because their sex life is not good.
The exact opposite is normally true. Swinging is an enhancement and in addition to, not insted of.
Many couples do entertain single males but will never make it known publically because of the many BS messsages/demand/insults they recieve, especially when they reject someone.
We define swinging as the consensual sharing of ones partner. (everyone has their own definition)
We think of it like this;
A couple shares each other with other partners. They are swinging.
If that sharing with with another couple, both couples are swinging.
If a couple shares with a single (male or female) The couple is swinging, but the single is not, because they are not sharing a partner.
The single is participating in a sexual encounter with swingers.
So guys you need to be invited into the situation, there is no other way.
Couples can choose from the many many choices out there for male playmates.
For many the main pleasure is enjoying their partner having a good time, not the the pleasure they get themselves.
Women control the swinging world.
If you are a couple and the female partner does not want to swing, the chances are that you will not swing.
Women get invited to all swinging events. Their partners/husbands/etc are lucky enough to have such open ladies (and yes they are - make no mistake) who take them along.
It is the same for the male 1/2 of a couple as it is for sinlge guys. They find it very difficult to get inited to an event alone.
In our experience most couples only play together and are looking for the same.
Hopefully this is some food for thought.
^^^ absolutely!
We don't tolerate anyone who randomly gropes us/tries to jump in on us/follows us around/sticks his fingers up any orifice without talking/asking-these actions are totally unacceptable. Always ASK first.
It is not a free shag,you have to be invited to participate and we BOTH still have the option of terminating at any point,respect and good listening is paramount.
I still see single guys leaving messages on couple profiles that clearly state otherwise,please learn to read guys,its the same as real life dating,trying too hard is a big turn off,so if you don't get a response then move on.
That is some very good points.
Respect at all times.
It all starts with reading the profile and respecting peoples choices.
Messages such as those you mention and/or un-requested PM's of the same type, immediately proves that the sender dont/wont respect our rules or boundaries.
Why would we ever invite someone or even be interested in someone who so blatantly has no respect for our rules?
I got to be honest as the guy of the relationship, being approached by the single guys just after a shag with my wife is really off putting for us to step further into the swinger scene.
Actually I am not sure why I am here other than to look at the ladies and think how lucky the blokes they are with are, same with single ladies I often wonder what they are really about.
Now I said that I also wonder how genuine the couples are and not posing as a couple, most the time it is me lurking on here and I do the photography. So messeges of "Hi Hun you want a Fuck" are not really appreciated either.
Unfortunaly being "approached by the single guys just after a shag with my wife" is quite normal.
Some dont understand what is required and that a connection must be made before anything else.
We have to wonder if they use the same approach with single women?
I dont believe it would be sucessfull.
most use the shot gun approach. They send as many messages like that and one might return a yes - while pissing everyone else who recieves one off.
That said if the words/messages and being aproached is "really off putting for us to step further into the swinger scene", we would urge you to consider your reasons for entering or wanting to enter the swinging scene.
Swinging is ultimatly about sex.
As a single woman I do get approached with a lot of rude "want to fuck" and assumptions I am here waiting for a cock to pick me. The most common pm I receive from males is that they are close to me. Sorry boys...proximity is not a deciding factor on whom I choose to spend intimate time with.
As a general rule....unless the men are respectful and discuss their spouse with me in a pm....I assume she is not present and possibly unaware of his online presence.
I ALWAYS require a mental connection before I will even meet people and prefer if invited by couples that the invitation is issued by the female part of the couple. This goes some way to ensuring my piece of mind that they are a genuine couple.
I think the anonymity of the web may lead some to believe that basic manners and respect do not apply.
Manners maketh the man.
please this is one of the most amazing posts ever posted on the forums. ALL members should read this especially single males. Have bumped due to singles going on about the site being anti singles.
READ READ READ all....
We joined as a couple but recently split up. I come on here now almost forgetting I am a single guy now - but I do remember in time and always make the point as soon as any conversation is started.
Long and short of it is - if this is really a site for swingers only (and indeed the name does definitely suggest it) then perhaps all us single guys should bugger off. BC I am fed up to the back teeth with the stereotypical single male image that is plastered on me. And not without good reason, I'll grant that! But fed up non the less.
What a pity the good guys who know the rules already should have to feel talked down to. Yes, I do. Feel talked down to that is. The assumptions that are made require us (the subgroup) to listen and nod. What a pity!
Ladies, and gentlemen. There are single ladies and gentlemen out there too, as good-hearted as any you'll find in a relationship. We are single for some very good reasons sometimes.
All this said, I have to stand behind the comments in this thread. Hmmm, it IS a quandry!
I find it quite amusing we got banned from the site for 4 days because of a line in our profile that apparently is abusive to other members! It was aimed at all those single guys out there who could not take a hint. However we did not place the offending line on the profile. So be careful folks what you write in your profile you never know how it can be twisted to be seen as offensive.
What cuts it though for us is this was spotted due to an upgrade to extras so a double wammy. Yet we have these single guys being more offensive with their tackless approaches and offensive behaviour, funny how you get told to just report them. Dont seem to work.
If you want to discuss the reason for your ban im happy to do so privately cyn but i wont do it publicly here.
It was handled very appropriately and if you cant see that maybe you shouldnt be on this site...
I've been on this site as a couple and a single female. I agree with the comments about the singles on here being quite blatant about wanting to screw the female while totally disregarding the fact that she has a partner. As if any husband is going to be cool with letting some guy share intimate moments with his wife AND him when they can't even show decent manners and respect.
I cannot believe how many messages I get as an introduction that has a cock pic and a "wanna fuck this" as their line. Instant turn off. Another peeve is guys that think it's fine to send you email after email trying to change your mind about meeting with them. All that does is allow me to feel reassured that I made the right decision to not see them.
I feel incredibly privileged when a couple invites me in to their sex lives. I'm a guest, not their partner and absolutely understand and respect the boundaries and rules they have (they must always respect my boundaries too).
I've met some lovely people off the site...and I've met them because I've liked them as people first...way before we've got dirty. I couldn't get naked and dirty unless I've liked them as people and the way they speak to me first up always determines if I want to go further.
Yes, I'm on a swinger site, but that doesn't mean I'll bang anyone who asked for a fuck. I don't do it in real life why on earth would I do it here?
We are totally with you Cyn... JnA - admin need to get a lot tougher with the single male idiots on this site. It is great that you can block them from messaging you and we are building up a "healthy" list of block users in the chatroom but if a couple put on their profile that they are not interested in single males then this should be respected.
It's a shame you can not take it one step further and block them from looking at your profile all together. We are on here to meet couples and are totally not interested in single males and we realise to attract other couples we need to put a few pics on our public profile, its just a shame we can not block the same old perverts from looking at them again and again and again.....
Anyway, just our thoughts...
As a Single male on this website. I do agree that there are a lot of "single" guys who ends up making a bad name out of the nice single guys as we aren't all bad or makes rude comments asking for sex all the time etc. It kinda makes it harder for the geniue (blah I can't spell today) blokes to go meet some people.
Hope that makes sense.
[quote:d6752ad3d6="Sexy_nerd"]As a Single male on this website. I do agree that there are a lot of "single" guys who ends up making a bad name out of the nice single guys as we aren't all bad or makes rude comments asking for sex all the time etc. It kinda makes it harder for the geniue (blah I can't spell today) blokes to go meet some people.
Hope that makes sense.[/quote:d6752ad3d6]
Yeah Nerd, not all single males on here are creeps, but we are not even interested in meeting the nice ones like yourself... strictly couples only. Having said that, see you at the Meet in November...
All disruptive members are treated the same regardless of relationship status. Warning warning suspension suspension ban.
However in order for us to act we need proof that harrassment is happening, Something membership seems loathe to do.
If we were to monitor whos being blocked and what for it would be a monumental task. Thats why we ask for a little help from you the members to try and maintain some decorum.
End of the day its an open public website.
Either ignore and delete or block and report.
Report Why is it that a majority of members are loathe to make a report when being harassed?
"I dont want to be a narc" is one of the most common things im told.
It's simple. If someone is harassing you they are likely doing it to many others. If we do not know then we cannot help.
Hey Guys, for us it's not so much above been harassed and trust me if we do get any I'll be the first to let you know, I have already mentioned a few names to Aims
It's just that we joined a swingers site to meet other couples, not single guys, we can do that down any local pub. All i'm saying is it would be nice to have a choice to choose who looks at your profile, you give us the choice as to who can message us under the security settings, why not give us the same choice as to who can look at our profile, it's just creepy when you see the same single males looking at your profile EVERY day even though it clearly states your not interested in them... Anyway, I know things are not going to change. Looking forward to catching up next month...
Cheers
Mark
Comment removed due to misunderstanding
All we will say is MonksHabit we support your view and that of many others who feel the same way we have had the pleasure in meeting and talking with on this site.
There is no vendetta JNA just a view.
Once AGAIN Cyn this is NOT the appropriate place to discuss your ban.
I will once [u:19c0b5ece5]AGAIN[/u:19c0b5ece5] state that it WAS handled appropriately and you were justifiably banned for remarks you had on your profile.
If you want to discuss this further please get in contact with me and ill be happy to explain it to you.
This thread is NOT for you to voice your personal vendetta against admin.
Any further complaints you make in here about your ban will be deleted.
JnA, this thread has become more about the issue Admin had with CYN (which i really do not care about), to been more about us couples just voicing our opinions about the intrusiveness of single males on what is meant to be a "swingers" website... this is not the first time it has been raised and I'm sure it will not be the last.. and as per previous times I'm sure nothing will ever really be done about it, it is just something you have to put up with if you want to use this site, which is the only real option for swinging couples to meet other couples in NZ
monks dont forget that swinging isnt just a couples thing.
so yeah you might just be looking for couples and that is 100% ok but there are others in the lifestyle that are looking for singles to join them as well and that is also 100% ok.
as long as people respect each others choices then there should be no problems
[quote:7f1113be3d="AnJ"]monks dont forget that swinging isnt just a couples thing.
so yeah you might just be looking for couples and that is 100% ok but there are others in the lifestyle that are looking for singles to join them as well and that is also 100% ok.
as long as people respect each others choices then there should be no problems [/quote:7f1113be3d]
Thankyou Anj...thanks for clearing that up.
We are totally with you Cyn... JnA - admin need to get a lot tougher with the single male idiots on this site. It is great that you can block them from messaging you and we are building up a "healthy" list of block users in the chatroom but if a couple put on their profile that they are not interested in single males then this should be respected. It's a shame you can not take it one step further and block them from looking at your profile all together. We are on here to meet couples and are totally not interested in single males and we realise to attract other couples we need to put a few pics on our public profile, its just a shame we can not block the same old perverts from looking at them again and again and again..... Anyway, just our thoughts... that would be a realy good feature, i hope weby takes it on board.
Kiwi Swingers features sexually explicit material. To access this site you must be of the legal age to engage with the material of an adult site.
By entering Kiwi Swingers you agree to the following;
I am deemed an adult where I live, and I am at least 18 years old
I am allowed to access & view sexually explicit material
0 likes
