Pretenders and players

How many of you on here have chatted many times with people, but then when it comes to meeting they make up a n excuse each time.... 

Vouches and sometimes profile comments are good for sorting the wanna-be's from the legit peeps?

We also dont give very many second chances...  too many good folk on here to piss about with time wasters.

Many times even when i had a couples profile and invite guys over they would either say they just had a reminder of family plans or they just muck you around. Its the same now for me as single guy on here couples and singles show that you are a match but when you chat with them its something else they are looking for now or the wife not playing or is out of the country lol

I do reckon a lot of couples and single ladies love the power they have over single guys and they love to say your not what we looking for . lol

Funsingle I get that it must be frustrating being a single bloke on here.. my thoughts on your comments...  I (Mrs G) fancy both men and women and our profile says we look for both BUT I dont fancy ALL men and women. For us it's all about attraction and compatibility.

Its probably nothing personal or a powertrip when you get told "no thanks"...  you're just not the right guy for them and as you've been a couple on here you must know theres a need to be selective...

Unfortunately tootnlilly, we have been running into this problem a lot of late. Becoming very frustrated, but when it happens it is usually worth it. We have found a lot of chatters are just that.

Yes a lot just love to talk about is too short to just talk about it lol

Quote by Tootnlilly
How many of you on here have chatted many times with people, but then when it comes to meeting they make up a n excuse each time.... 

Yes

My very first 2 both wimped out at the end.  Sooo frustrating.  They enjoyed the thrill and excitement and the ride, but couldn't find the nerve to go all the way.  Total timewasters.  Third time lucky I reckon  :-)

I am surprised at how often this seems to happen.... Why waste their time and yours by engaging and not showing up? 

Sometimes there are legitimate reasons and it's unavoidable.  I have had to cancel a couple of times... after giving appropriate notice I couldn't make it.... But it's kinda rude and a last resort..

... there seems to be little point in being here if you dont actually plan to meet people... ? 

There are so many single guys on here only interested in the chase and the thrill of the thought but have absolutely no intention of ever going through with meeting someone.  I could list 10 Male profiles without even having to think about it.  Married guys just after a bit of a thrill. 

We won't engage in conversation with a couple if we don't think there will be a connection there. It will be a nice polite No Thanks from the beginning. This way we are not misleading anyone.  And we would certainly hope that someone would treat us the same. 

I wonder if a video chat is a useful filter? I like to think that my spider senses are fairly well-developed and in the past when I’ve asked to do a video chat the gal has had every excuse under the sun. At that point I tend to assume they’re catfishing me. Here on KS, if a guy doesn’t have the courage to show his face on cam is he likely to have the courage to get out from behind his keyboard? ?

I'm new here and got my hopes up and had a meet organised ready to go at 11 they were on the way there at 9ish then  didn't get back to me until a day later with a excuse, no good at all ?

Quote by 2LeftFeet
I am surprised at how often this seems to happen.... Why waste their time and yours by engaging and not showing up? 


Sometimes there are legitimate reasons and it's unavoidable.  I have had to cancel a couple of times... after giving appropriate notice I couldn't make it.... But it's kinda rude and a last resort..
... there seems to be little point in being here if you dont actually plan to meet people... ? 

 I think lots of people like the *idea* of swinging but when it comes down to the nitty gritty reality of being comfortable enough with yourself and your realtionship to share something that you have been told all your life should be jealously guarded....people just wimp out.  

I have been here for years but never met. I did arrange once and had to cancel at the very last minute for a genuine reason. Having said that I did shw at the parties I said I would, maybe 4 or so but once again a genuine reason for not makng one of them

Quote by Tootnlilly
How many of you on here have chatted many times with people, but then when it comes to meeting they make up a n excuse each time.... 

 All the time. It looks like people just want to window shop 

It is so frustrating. One thing I have found is that when they start asking for more pics and want to discuss kinks when you are supposed to meet for a drink, the flag goes up. I like chatting about that face to face. And sure enough every time those two subjects come up the day before the meeting, you can bet the meeting will be postponed.... If you are not into some-one just say, sorry I feel no chemistry. That is the joy of swinging. No offense taken. "No thanks" is "no thanks", and not "there is something wrong with you".

hello all, good thread. ks is a shocker for it but so is nzd as you mentioned. As a legitimate single guy it is frustrating and used CCK when in AKL to get some contacts, but here in Welly there have been a few but always bailing at last minute. I do have one regular from nzd, and she too is frustrated with the no shows and the couples that are blokes and has explored here with me but not yet joined as she has noted a few familiars who arent what they say they are.

I think with all the stress in everyones lives at the moment common decency and transparent communication has been the biggest sufferer...

Fully agree with below. There must be an initial connection and we expect and reseoct the same. Nothing personal and we are not here to waste peoples time😀

Quote by 0nce_were_gypsys

Funsingle I get that it must be frustrating being a single bloke on here.. my thoughts on your comments...  I (Mrs G) fancy both men and women and our profile says we look for both BUT I dont fancy ALL men and women. For us it's all about attraction and compatibility.

Its probably nothing personal or a powertrip when you get told "no thanks"...  you're just not the right guy for them and as you've been a couple on here you must know theres a need to be selective...

Jac573, you are right and there are those of us single fellows who do read profiles and respect what we are asking to be part of if invited .....but the number of "genuine couples" with a sick partner is just getting ridiculous as well. I suppose all sites like this run the risk of having the others.... Yes your right I can go somewhere else, but KS is ok and a lot of fun, just a bit difficult with the numbers of those increasing who arent real, decline to meet at the last minute, or are just a bloke with one hand on the keyboard...

Whos up for some fun this weekend?

It is hard as a single on here, especially when all of the timewasters ruin it for us genuine guys. There is a guy here in the bay that has a couples profile and it says the wife wants to experiment and get it on in a threeway, but everytime you arrange it, he says the wife is busy but he is available. WTF!!! I like playing with dudes as well when in a couples situation but if i just wanted dick i would say so in my profile. Just be honest people. No shows and liars are a pain in the bum (not in a good way lol)

A few times when we know we are going out, it's usually last minute, we just invite people out. We understand it's not the best way (kids, etc.). If people show, awesome. If not, at least we're out and are going to enjoy ourselves regardless. Swinger parties are a good way to meet, but they seem very few and far between of late.

Quote by pussypounder27

It is hard as a single on here, especially when all of the timewasters ruin it for us genuine guys. There is a guy here in the bay that has a couples profile and it says the wife wants to experiment and get it on in a threeway, but everytime you arrange it, he says the wife is busy but he is available. WTF!!! I like playing with dudes as well when in a couples situation but if i just wanted dick i would say so in my profile. Just be honest people. No shows and liars are a pain in the bum (not in a good way lol)

Ongoing problem. We encountered that in the last few weeks.

Your welcome to meet us , we are up front and honest, would not f you around xx

Quote by mrandmrsav

Ongoing problem. We encountered that in the last few weeks.

Similar experiences here, quite a few rain checks at the last minute, I like to be fair and accept that we all have busy lives and commitments etc, however a few are very inflexible and not wanting to negotiate a time and place that is convenient for both parties. And of course, pointing the finger that I only get one chance and not interested.

Whats with that?

Also, I regularly get hit up from guys who want to find a male lover for their wife. They tell me everything about their wife, only to ignore further contact or just disappear. I suspect these guys are just indulging in a fantasy and their wife isn't even aware of their profile etc!

I just have to accept this as a regular thing on this site and the internet in general, lots of talk but very few walk the talk!

But maybe it is my safety net stopping me from becoming too much of a manwhore!!

I’m reasonably new here, and I get really frustrated when you are contacted, you respond and then ignored. What’s that about, most of us are adults so if you don’t want to pursue then just say not interested.

This isn’t just this site I’ve experienced similar on other site 🤷‍♂️

Well I have to put my five cents worth in here too....it appears that lots of interest is generated by a few new piks going up, but that dosnt last and then trying to contact the few that have liked one or two leads to not even a response.

I generally do read the entire profile, contrary to popular belief and if they or she doesnt want then I move along, but as for a lot of you single guys I am in the same boat when it comes to being approached and generally turns out to be the M side....the F is sick or as you have said taking a break... The what would you do or like question is well....bugger me read my profile.....you expected me to read yours.... The generic profiles of blokes as couples is prolific and I think someone mentioned a video check....a great idea.

The WWW has opened so many options and I do enjoy KS but it would be nice to meet someone real...

Anyway, thats me....and by the way, dooes anybody know how to delete their meet after its done.... please?

For us, any genuine message will get a response. A wink, a friend request, "hot pics" or "I have a big penis, let me show you" are things we personally never respond to (worst case we block). We expect someone to have at least skimmed our profile, so if someone clearly hasn't read it, we ignore that too. We have had to cancel or turn down plans before, but we like to offer an alternative so the other party knows there is still interest.

We have rarely chosen to message single guys (our profile doesn't block them) so can't comment on people reaching out there, only on people messaging couples. We have had plenty of ghosters that vanish after we ask for verification, tell them we share our naughty pics after meeting socially or even just after sending pictures of ourselves (because they probably weren't interested).

I don't think we have ghosted anyone, but we have blocked enough people who can't take no for an answer 🤣