Attraction vs Rejection

Another fun topic and probably more a of a rant and an observational piece than my last post

As a reasonably mature person (age not mind set) and this being my third stint on here I have noticed the following.

Rejection does not hurt any less as you age, it still hurts, but the only way to get forward in life is to put yourself out there and deal with what comes.

Rejection here comes in many forms in here and I am yet to decide what one hurts less

1. The Stone wall (aka the silent treatment, you'll be chatting away fine and then nothing bam stonewalled, or worse the sending of a face pic and stone wall).
2. The Band aid maneuver straight up sorry I'm not attracted to you. polite but not offensive.
3. The Fade out, the backing away over time then not contact.
4. The Arsehole, the rude fuckers who should be shot.

There are probably more and feel free to suggest some that you have had.

Now don't get me wrong I think that Attraction is a key part of any encounter and everyone has the right to set there own standards, those who don't think so should be kicked in the bollocks/vag and I think both sexes here have the same issues. I myself have been in the position when I haven't found someone attractive at the meet that's life. 

So my rules of conducted are:

• Put a decent amount of detail in your profile to allow people to get an idea of who you are and what your looking for.
• Don't Judge, you cant get the full story from that side of a key board.
• Be Polite, I am happy to chat with any of the peeps n freaks that are out there, it what you are asking for isn't my cup of tea I will let you know politely, and I am often happy to play along with what ever weirdness you have going on in chat world.
• Be honest, in the unlikely event that I don't find you attractive I will politely let you know, Id appreciate the same.
• Always reply, if someone takes the time to mail, chat, like etc on here i always like to reply if I can.

Note If I cut off mid chat, this is not me being intentionally rude, I am often here on my phone and I chat while doing other things, often those real world things take me away from KS.

Hapy hunting peeps n freaks... and say hi in the Pool if you see me.

I disagree. I think the expectation of time for an answer is arrogant . 

Some people get a lot of messages and many people do not except a polite no thankyou. 

Experience teaches me that it’s easier to ignore the solid no’s, because it escalates quickly after “why not”.

I say send a message and hope for the best. If no reply....that IS a reply. 

I meant accept* ?

I agree fully. Arrogance isn't always a bad thing though. And those are my rules of conduct not my expectations of others. 

Unfortunately or fortunately depending on your point of view the package between my legs means I don't deal with some of the issues that the ladies in the site have to. (Although some bi guys are rather pushy and don't seem to be able to read). 

I agree that a first contact from someone you don't know and don't want to probably is best dealt with by ignoring them, however should the same tactic be used say where two people were chatting via mail all seemingly going well then pictures exchanged and silence or a fad out.

Like you said the message is still the same.

Pushy types are still likely to repeat mail anyway is my guess.

?allways enjoy a well thought out argument.

Strokes for folks and lids for pots ??‍♀️

I try to be polite, no one likes rejection. sometimes people persist so i'm more blunt.. if they keep going it's block. If i like their banter but not attracted i'll say sorry no thanks but still happy to chat. women here do get a lot of messages.. sometimes i forget to message back.. (or if my membership has run out lol). As far as what i'm looking for in my profile.. that's tricky, i don't have a set type.  

Rejection is a part of deals in any interactions and reality is- how you deal with it!! People who rejects they have reason to reject but recipients way of accepting rejection can vary. Our internal mind (super ego) feels offended to any rejection and that is normal unless you are a person of well tuned (like me.... LOL)!! ...Well articulated topic Soux1970!! 

My last rejection was a simple," Pass". Definitely had the "I'm interested, ooh your pics are great", then ignored. It's an element of life, people have a lot at stake, safety, reputation - some have too many to choose from and you just haven't made the cut. Take it with a pinch of salt, but keep your head high and your compatible minx, kinky couple or dashing dandy will find you.

Its the nature of the beast If you get a positive response cool If not move along Dont take it all to seriously 

I say look in your own mirror and then see how it would feel...people expect to much these days...fuck em if they dont like ya, then they not worth knowing!

Drunk me says hell yeah

Rather be rejected a thousand times, Because the ones who did reject me, will never know how much of a good friend/lover/person.. i truly am... Nice guys come last,  so true, because we let the ladys come first  

Hungover me agrees

I think on a swingers forum, you shouldnt expect anything, I certainly dont think I/we are entitled to a response, or a particular type of response.

You're talking about a complex situation of people watching / letting / encouraging someone else to fuck / share their partners.

We came into this as a couple, and whatever we do together, we are doing a couple. So what we want, and how we want to go about things with each other comes first. I owe explanations to my partner, and nobody else. I dont think others owe us anything either - sometimes we talk to people for a bit then it stops through a variety of ways - that's  fine,  because I recognize that they're a person, or a couple with a life and relationships that come before me and my partner.

They owe me nothing.

when you do find people that things work out with, its great. but ultimately, nobody on here owes me a damned thing, and they've every right to ignore / block / stop talking to me in any way, and for any reason they please, and as far as Im concerned, Ive no right to demand, or expect an answer, response or explanation.

I just wait until I encounter someone else that Im interested in and start again.

Absolutely true Otagotwo!!

I kind of disagree. I think each message should get an answer. Be polite and have manners at the end of the day we playing with peoples emotions. 

A simple thanks for the message but I don’t feel we are a match. Is all that’s needed. 

likewise the opposite way where someone is attracted to you, enjoy that moment but be polite if you wish them to stop messaging you

I feel nothing should be expected and no reply is surely better than a rude one.  

I answer all serious messages,  I especially like peeps who make it clear they've read my profile,  not just looked at the pics.  Soooo if I get a dic pic or a message that says "hi" from a teenager from southland...    I'm binning it👍

I agree 1_gypsy

A shitty and Unthoughtful message should be ignored. Means the person hasn’t take the chance to read your profile and to be honest is a time waster. 

hi gypsy et all, now that i have a couples profile ive seen both sides of the argument, im inclined to like a polite no thanks, however some people (mainly single guys who dont seem to be able to read) really do spoil it for others, an i may have on occasion replied in a not so subtle manner letting them know what i thought of their un subtle offers or unwanted dick pics. Lol.

being a single male on here I have no idea why men send dick pics in a message without the consent of their recipients.... def ruins it for the rest of us....

Quote by GaryHall
I kind of disagree. I think each message should get an answer. Be polite and have manners at the end of the day we playing with peoples emotions. 


A simple thanks for the message but I don’t feel we are a match. Is all that’s needed. 

likewise the opposite way where someone is attracted to you, enjoy that moment but be polite if you wish them to stop messaging you

 The trouble is, as a female, you get bombarded. And there's expectation attached to the message, just from being sent. As Lusty and Gypsy have said, there should not be an expectation on a response from a first message. If I did that, I'd never have time to respond to the people I am actually interested in. 

No reply, is a response

And to the OP - Great rules of conduct 👌🏻

I guess so... and I Get it now being a single female you get inundated with messages every second. 
I thought with someone no replying the person sending the messages would continue to message to get a reply or answer why. 

The message option should probably be taken away and only once a person accept to connect then they can message. Avoids all the messages and wasted time sieving through them all. 

@GaryHall - but that then just adds another whole layer of complication to the process. The platform works well enough, and each person can choose who they respond to 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

Personally if someone has written me a few sentences introducing themselves, I'm more likely to engage, whether it's to say no thanks, or chat more. 

The usual 'hey, your tits are great' accompanied by cock shots kinda emails are the ones I ignore. Or the ones that clearly didn't read my profile 🤷🏻‍♀️

fair point

Lol to the last comment, there’s a lot of that. The poor guys forget they chatting to normal people and not sex thirsty porn stars 🤣

I will maintain that I am, in fact, not 'normal' and I am thirsty for the hot sexy times, and I make my own porn, but aside from that, I totally agree 😆

Hmmmmmm well if the men get through to you then they are really lucky to enjoy a naughty time with you 🤘

🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻 Thank you kindly 😽

Let’s change it up and focus on attraction. Out of interest how many of those 1000’s if message you get ,you are actually attracted too? 

Maybe, a quarter?