A Cautionary Tale when using Hair Removal Creams

From an actual Amazon review:

"After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I

decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving
attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out
trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I
thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a
treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I
considerd myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous
reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow
sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up
in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went
down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and
stood waiting for something to happen.
I didn't have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was
replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like
being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the
ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until
that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to
stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the
destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my
bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in
blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I
struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this
time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the
fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer
drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned
it under me.
The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted
fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .Due to the shape
of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment
and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my
vision was going to fail fairly soon.I grabbed a bag of what I later
found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I
did so.I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between
the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel
had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space
shuttle was running it's engines behind me. This was probably and
hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay
snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I
was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.
The only solution
my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the
sprouts where no veg had gone before. unfortunately, alerted by the
strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment
to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the
air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up
my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ". Understandably this
was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her
come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted
in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can
understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night
in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting
and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow
in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet
removes hair, dignity and self respect..."

Man we have to meet I want to watch a live reinactment of that my friend.  We enjoy regular evenings at the comedy club and that would get first prize at any open mic night.   Thanks for sharing.

P.S we wait in anticipation for your darlings input........wink

Another one . . . 

"Got this in my email and thought I'd share....

Hair removal 101 ...God love the woman who shared this,,,,,,,

All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.

My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home fix dinner, played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the wax out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I'm no girly girl but I am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out. *YA THINK!!!*

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh how this phrase haunts me!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-ra, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure I apply the was strip across the right side of bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself.
RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!...OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of the strip. S&%T!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP. Everything is swirly and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums??? OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt, that has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair.

WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair..The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S&%T I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...................remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DAMN!!!!!!!!
I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut. Butt?? Sealed shut.

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off" Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!*I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than then that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!! God bless the man that convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located on bottom "Are we talking cheeks or hole or what?"

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies, covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut land. My friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my friend, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!! I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair..................................

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......................ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
So I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color......"

Ha hahahaha , Classic 

ohh my gosh.....another reinactment on the cards...

Love these... thanks for the giggle ?

Reposting to put it back on top of the stack